April 26, 1989

Axelle, my beloved child,
Time flies inexorably and your flight to the U.S. doesn't bring you the total accomplishment of your personality which you expected. Wanting to evaluate the situation seems today to be quite a futile intellectual exercise. On the contrary, wanting to reach a goal with all one's physical and spiritual forces, on the short or on the long term must be positive and give a new meaning to a life which stretches gloomily and without enthusiasm. What does this last point entail?

I do not intend to list here one or several infaillible methods, but rather to seek why and how WE succeeded and what good we can do to help you walk towards a new light.

I know that the money, which I gave you quite willingly, has been and always will be, or so I wish, only a useful extra nd not something essential. So there is something else!!! But what? It is only by making an effort of humility and contrition that WE will go towards each other, by considering as sterile the old grudges which everyone can bring up upon analysis.

I dare hope that you never doubted that I love you, although you might have believed otherwise due to some arrangements I made erroneously. Am I to blame for wanting to saw off the young shoots at the foot of a young tree so that, in the long term, the tree can be more beautiful? Can the subject, later on, claim that the sawed-off branches would have added to his fulfiment and deplore their absence for decades?

There is no way out if one is not able to overcome these old grudges and ambivalences which poison the soul; if one is not able to forgive each other in a great burst of Love and in our old faith, forgive the wrongs done to each other.

Although humility and modesty do not come easily to the Scorpio sign [my father and I are both Scorpios], I am taking this step with all my heart. So I beg you, beloved daughter, to forgive your father for EVERYTHING he did against you, rightly or wrongly. Grant him all the extenuating circumstances as deserves every sinner who repents. Stop judging now, forget without pretending. Forgive me, I beseech you.

I would like, as far as I'm concerned, that this unique moment when you grant me your forgiveness be an opening toward light, a new start toward a life full of motivation and enthusiasm, unflinchingly oriented towards the goal you'll have set for yourself.

What else can I say, besides the fact that we deplore receiv- ing so little news from you. I would like to read joy and success in all your undertakings, victories over others and most of all over yourself. You are endowed with numerous and wonderful talents and your task is to work on them and find a way to develop them for your greatest joy and our simple happiness.

I kiss you very affectionately like I love you and always have. Papa.


April 26, 1989 Axelle, my beloved child, my little Brigitte, The times have come! The earth has been profoundly plowed at La Flatiere [this is a "Catholic spa" in the Alps where my parents have gone several times] where I already felt the imperious urge to ask for forgiveness!...

All these grudges (mostly weakness, cowardice, inability to chose, isn't it?) those you sometimes mentioned and the unspoken ones, let them no longer be a poison to your soul and to your body.

I take them upon myself without seeking any extenuating circumstances. Taking them upon myself means taking the load off your shoulders so you can be free. I take them to courageously take a hard look at them.

Can you forgive me my lovely child? May you experience the grace of forgiveness and then together we'll throw this burden into a great fire of love. It is true that after forgiveness is granted and received, drastic transformations follow. Why did I wait so long? Another weakness, you see!

Everything was ready in my heart and Elisabeth's letter (my 2nd sister), which was so moving, was the trigger. We would like so much Dad and I that your suffering stop as well as the endless torment of lack of understanding.

It is never late to start anew. It is not a problem to buy you a round trip to France if you so desire. After La Flatiere, Dad resumed praying. "Ask and you shall receive". Could we ask for anything more valuable than deliverance for everyone and the healing of the wounds that we caused?

Then new paths will open up for joy, and the flavor of life will return after the crossing of the desert.

I call your beloved name [which one?] with an affection renewed and above all, purified. Maman

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